My wife posted this over at her blog… and I can’t say it any better, so I’ll just quote her:
<Please read all the way through and don’t skip ahead or skim>
When I was 17 my heart broke for the first time. I was a senior in high school I was a Jesus Freak, babysitter, guitar playing, songwriting girl. I loved church, youth group, music and was quite the music snob, coffee houses…especially with open mic nights, and I wanted to be just like my big brother Adam who was in college. The thing I remember most is that I loved life, people, having fun and laughing. But then there was a day when a few words changed my life. I was told that I have Premature Ovarian Failure. Basically it’s similar to early menopause. I went through some pretty strenuous tests and saw a reproductive sciences specialist for the last 6-7 years. Through all of this, the statistics never changed, I would never conceive and there was a less than 1 % chance that I would ever get pregnant even with medicine. My heart broke and even though I feel like God has used this to make me stronger in my faith and has really healed a lot of the pain, I was never the same. I have been living in the loss of this. Can you imagine going through that? I met a wonderful guy who dated me knowing this, who fell in love with me knowing this, and married me knowing this. But we still have to mourn. You go through such ups and downs with mourning and the hardest part with this is that I never had something tangible TO mourn. Some people might not ever feel that way about infertility, some people feel worse, if you haven’t ever been there you really can’t know, and I can’t explain it, but I can tell you that most of the time I felt empty, incomplete and worthless. Without the love of Christ and the promise of Him having a plan, I couldn’t have made it. Brandon and I have finally gotten to the place where even though it hurt, even though it is hard to breath sometimes, we are okay. We know that we will be great parents and that adoption is an amazing option. But honestly we have had no hope of ever having one of our own. It’s been three years in October that we have been married and “trying”.
I’m telling you all this to say that in spite of giving up, in spite of a 99.9% chance that it will never happen, the Lord has done a miracle in my body. We are having a baby. I don’t if you believe in God, if you are Christian or if you used to be or whatever please hear me out. I would like you to keep reading. There is no way medically or otherwise that I should be pregnant. The doctors CAN NOT explain it other than a miracle. You see God sent His Son Jesus to die for you and for me, and even though we don’t deserve it, Jesus took on our sin to give us LIFE. He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. For this reason, God highly exalted Him and bestowed on Him the name which is above every name so that at the name of Jesus every knee will bow and every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. Whether or not you believe that statement you cannot argue that this is a miracle and it is only from God that miracles happen. Period. The Lord is faithful. The thing about a miracle is that we DON”T DESERVE IT!!! Just like we don’t deserve the grace and mercy that God has shown us by sending His Son to die to take our sin, and become an atoning sacrifice for us, and yet He has done it anyway. He Himself bore our sins in His body on the cross, so that we might die to sin and live to righteousness; for by His wounds you were healed.